So often during my Ho’oponopono trainings there is one or two of my students who have been victims of abuse. It is always so hard for them to accept 100% responsibility and realize they were the ones that attracted it, especially if it happened to them as a child. Understand that seeing yourself as a victim is a choice and once you take full responsibility, it will set you free.
During one of my training in Romania, I mentioned to the class how important it is not to see ourselves as victims. I told them we are 100% responsible for every situation and every person we attract into our lives. I began to give examples about how we choose our parents and the situations we experience. Some of the students were surprised by my comments. Then a woman raised her hand and said, “When my daughter was little this fact had been confirmed to me.”
The mother and daughter were both at the training. The daughter began to share her story with us, she started by telling us how the memories were still so clear. Before she was actually conceived in her mother’s womb, she remembers being surrounded by many stars and that innately she knew one of those stars was her mother. She began searching through the stars, when suddenly she saw a very bright star and at that moment she knew she had found her mother.
After that training in Romania I wrote about it in one of my newsletter, I then received this e-mail from Rossana in Argentina:
I’m writing because when I read the newsletter, I was not surprised at the girl’s story, since I went through something similar myself. It was seven years ago and I remembered everything so clearly, I remembered that when my life started I had chosen not to be born and I told the person who was guiding me that it had been wrong of me to choose that family, that I wasn’t going to make it. But that person told me I had to do it, that I would make it, that I would not be alone because he would be by my side. He then led me by the hand to where the stars were and he left me there. From there I started traveling through the stars on my journey towards life. I thought it might be useful to share this experience.
So, if we had a difficult time with our parents, it is hard for us to accept that we chose it, because we forgot who we are. How could we even consider the possibility of choosing an experience like that? Well, we didn’t at a conscious level, but there was a part of us that knew better.
One day I got an e-mail that said, this person went through this too? Guess who they were speaking of, Oprah Winfrey. Pay attention. Look around. Many people who have had terrible experiences in their life, chose not to see themselves as victims anymore and are now using their experience to make a difference in the World.
Do you consider yourself a victim of abuse? Then it is time to wake up and make a difference. You are here for something BIG. You are BIG. You just don’t remember. You needed to go through that either to pay a debt you didn’t remember you had so you could set yourself free, and/or to help others that went through the same experience and remind them they are above the abuse.
We come to make amends, discover who we are and set ourselves free. The Universe is always perfect and situations in our lives are simply blessings in disguise.
The problem is never the problem, but how we react to the problem is the problem. It is never you, nor the other person, but the programs playing in the subconscious mind. These programs can attract the perfect situation and give us the opportunity to let go and erase.
Let me share a study that was done with prisoners? In the study the prisoners were shown different people, then asked to pick out the ones they would rob and the ones they would not rob. The prisoners were then asked what determined who they would rob and who they would not rob. The overwhelming answer was, they had all chose the ones they thought would not defend themselves. You see, there is something about us that attracts certain situations and people into our lives, without us even knowing it consciously.
I am not saying you celebrate after a rape or a theft, I am saying accept that there is something about you that attracted the rapist or the thief to choose you as their victim. Recognize it is those programs that keep playing and when we stop the programs we start attracting different things. It is important that we don’t blame ourselves, but take 100% responsibility. So we can then stop those programs that attracted that person or situation into our lives. And, please always remember, responsibility and guilt are not synonymous.
Please know this, there is nothing wrong with you. Take good care of yourself and love yourself. And most important, forgive yourself for being the victim and forgive the person that victimized you, so the pain can go away. When you don’t forgive, you are only hurting yourself and not the other person.
Now you can let go of guilt, shame and resentment and use the experience to make a difference in another victim’s life.