Today, I write to that new breed of father, the man who grew up believing that fatherhood was all about authority — lecturing, dictating, and punishing the bad behaviors of children. Now, free of prejudice and the old tapes he has carried for so long, today’s new father is content to simply be a happy man.
Today, I say thank you to every father who discovered that he doesn’t need to be perfect, and the greatest gift he can give his children is love.
Our world is constantly changing. Women have been experiencing this change for years. Fortunately, men are now daring to be part of it. While the 21st Century father also has many responsibilities, he now gives thanks for each one of them, knowing these challenges will lead his family to a richer life. Today’s father measures success by how good a husband he is, a son, a friend, a worker…a father. It is a yardstick that brings him more joy. It is a good place to be.
Of course, this new outlook will also bring many new challenges. Today’s father must learn to be authentic and balanced, and to realize that home life isn’t about competing with your partner; it’s about working with your partner — from love and respect — so that they can set an example for your children.
We are long past the days when a father returns from work, listens to the day’s actions of his children and then, like a judge, dispenses punishment for the naughtiest child. Phrases like “wait until your father comes home” should be left in the past, along with that stereotypical and paternalistic image of a serious and judgmental man.
A father can (and should) be vulnerable, happy and funny — just like his children. He can do his work, live in the busy world AND smile, cry, skip, dance, sing, and laugh.
Men are starting to be part of the change. They are losing their old tapes and prejudices about what they will say or how they will act and starting to discover their true identity — living in the present, thankful, trusting, and willing to permit themselves to be happy. In short, they are connecting and living in what I call Zero Frequency®.
It is a beautiful thing that today’s fathers don’t want to be left behind. It requires them to become more open and flexible because they know that the only thing that is constant in life is change. This evolving mentality brings them a new masculinity which will transform and change society so that men and women will end competition and begin living in peace and harmony.
I have been blessed to be a witness to this change. It used to be that my seminars were attended mostly by women. But, today, that too has changed. Every seminar, more and more men are sitting in my audience. Most of them are parents. I enjoy seeing how they manage to connect with each subject that we talk about, and the way they participate without fear to reveal a deeper part of who they are.
They each know — what more men are discovering — that a man is not a better father by pretending toughness, courage or insensitivity, or by what the world visibly sees.
He is a better father because of what he carries inside his heart — a strength that lives beyond what the eye or mind can comprehend.
He is a better father because he can trust and let go; because he is always responsible and grateful for everything in his life.
He is a better father because he can forgive, feel, and love, always seeking happiness for himself and his family.
Happy Father’s Day. Thank you for your gift to the world.